A Poem Can Get you Through Here is the Gerard Manley Hopkins poem I learnt off by heart whilst under the mask having my radiation treatments.It is called The Windhover.		The Windhover	To Christ our Lord

I CAUGHT this morning morning’s minion, king-
dom of daylight’s dauphin, dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding
Of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding
High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing
In his ecstasy! then off, off forth on swing,	5
As a skate’s heel sweeps smooth on a bow-bend: the hurl and gliding
Rebuffed the big wind. My heart in hiding
Stirred for a bird,—the achieve of; the mastery of the thing!
Brute beauty and valour and act, oh, air, pride, plume, here
Buckle! AND the fire that breaks from thee then, a billion	10
Times told lovelier, more dangerous, O my chevalier!
No wonder of it: shéer plód makes plough down sillion
Shine, and blue-bleak embers, ah my dear,
Fall, gall themselves, and gash gold-vermillion.
My very own Windhover with Moon at Otakou Golf  Course.

Never Mind Golfer's Elbow what about Writer's Block?

 

 Well it has been so long since my last entry you may have been wondering if the Golfer's Elbow injury I managed to trigger whilst play St Clair, Dunedin in the snow has taken me out of the game altogether?

No No Not at all!

 I have been working very hard with my osteopath and being prudent and having plenty of rest between games. Also wearing a support bandage which has really helped.

And thanks to Mark at Economy Golf , those Graphite shafted clubs I mentioned last time have been really terrific at taking some of the strain off my elbow too.


No....
The real problem is I have had Writer's Block.

Each time I sit down at the computer to continue the story I feel too tired and think oh no I will do it tomorrow  
and..so.. another few days go by and now I am really behind.

Have a guess..How many courses do you think I have played by now? 

24?   25?  26?

 

So why can't I write?

I left the story in Dunedin.I was telling you about the highs and lows of the courses I played in the Edinburgh of the South.

I also alluded to the emotional component of my trip down to Dunedin . And that is where the block has arisen.


Returning to Dunedin was quite hard for me as the place had become awash in difficult memories accumulated back in 2008 when I went there for Radiation and Chemotherapy post surgery.

Although I wanted to go to Dunedin to reclaim that fair city as one of my favourite places, at the same time I was afraid those oh so vivid memories of that dark time would sweep over me like some great tide and the undertow of them would pull me under.
In some ways this is the curse of having a good memory.
Many years ago my good friend Rhonda taught me a technique of heightening your memory of a given event by the conscious use of all your senses i.e asking yourself what can you smell?what can you hear? what can you taste?how are you moving? Really tends to put an event into 3D high resolution focus!

This is great for happy memories!
 But alas I forgot to turn down the volume for unpleasant events!

The hospital times and the radiation treatments unfortunately remain very vivid in my memory and when I let my guard down(i.e when I am asleep or tired etc) I am fully back in those moments. 

I thought going to Dunedin and getting to log in some more happy memories would help to dilute the not so good ones.

Truly golf is so good for so many things!

In 2008 when I went down there for treatment I imagined it was going to be a bit of a fun time after all the surgery.
My lovely partner,Wilma had managed to secure  us a fantastic short term rental in a suburb called Sunshine(with generous financial backing from my folks to enable her to take two months off work to support and care for me.) A beautiful house with views up the harbour so I could look out over the water all day and watch the light play on the hills between short trips to the hospital(only 15 
minutes away).
 There would be plenty of time for me to show her all the beauties of Dunedin- Aramoana,Tunnel Beach,Taieri Mouth,Portobello,The Gardens etc etc.
I would get a seasons pass to the Butterfly House at the Museum and go there everyday after my radiation treatment to make it bearable.
And it would just be lovely for the two of us to have all that time together after  the drama of the surgeries .

The view from the Sunshine house.

 

Hmmmmmmmmm!

Well,not surprisingly that of course was not how it went!

From day one of treatment I started vomiting.
That fifteen minute drive to the hospital became an interminable nightmare trip.
 The light reflected off the harbour through the windows at Sunshine became unbearable for my eyes.
The notion of taking Wilma out to see some of the special places of 'my' Dunedin receded rapidly as I descended into my own private hell and that unique 'selfishness' of the very ill took over.
It was a very hard and lonely time for us both in very different ways.
Any energy I had was entirely focused on just steeling my nerve for the next radiation session and getting through the panic and claustrophobia that came at the thought of being bolted down to the table in my mask. 
And Wilma? The hell of being beside someone you love who is desperately ill,vomiting all the time and there is nothing you can really do to help.The first couple of weeks she tried valiantly to make food to tempt my ever dwindling appetite and to try and keep my weight up.An exercise that was very disheartening for her as each dish she produced was rejected after a couple of mouthfuls.

Preparing me for treatment.

Screwing down the mask.

Correct alignment took time.

  

 











 It was not long before I became too ill for Wilma to manage me at the house in Sunshine.
I had to be hospitalized in an isolation room.
I think it was a huge relief in many ways for Wilma to know I was in the care of the nurses at Ward 8C, now at least she got to have breaks away from me and my misery although she continued to spend much of her days with me.


I had a new view!

My view from hospital.

 And some new tubes and drip lines!

I could hear the Westpac helicopter landing on the roof above me.
I could smell the horrid liquid food they put through the nasal/gastric tube every three hours!
Taste? Even water tasted like corrugated cardboard spread with worm castings.
I knew exactly how many steps it took to walk various routes around the ward and out to the lifts and back. A walk I had to do after every feed to try and get some of the liquid to stay down.
But I did manage to go to every day of the treatment.
I got through the sessions in the mask by learning a poem by Gerard Manley Hopkins phrase by phrase.Saying it slowly in time to the clicks of the machinery that indicated where I was up to in the progression of the treatment(twelve beams of radiation were passed through the head and neck area on the right side of my throat.) 
I visualized myself as a merlin(a bird of prey) with a jeweled hood over my head, carried on the arm of a red-haired lady in a green velvet dress - a falconer on horse back. I counted the beeps and awaited the moment when the lady took off my mask and I soared on an updraft of air,free at last.....counting the beeps until the treatment was over and the real mask was removed.


And I came out of hospital with a stomach peg(which I had for a year) . This made for interesting picnics! NOT!

So it was very good to go back to Dunedin and have some marvelous games of golf out and about on the Peninsula and to feel strong and able to do such a thing.

I bravely  went up to the Oncology Department and to Ward 8C to see if I could find any of the people involved in my treatment to thank them.

My knees were shaking and I was pouring with sweat being back in the hospital.

I managed to see the wonderfully warm and kind Radiation Oncologist in charge of my treatment regime. Hugs all round and heartfelt ones at that.She was genuinely pleased to see me and I enormously grateful to her for the respectful way she treated both Wilma and I during the time I was under her care.

Thanks Lyndal.

My only regret was being back in Dunedin, enjoying life and the city but without Wilma.

After I left the hospital I was very overwhelmed with emotion and shaking so much I had to go sit in a cafe for an hour and write a letter of Gratitude to my dear Wilma for the incredible loving support she gave me through that time.

She was my rock! And I certainly clung to her fiercely.

No doubt overbearing in my need at times.

That winter in Dunedin she wore a red shawl against the cold.

I remember how I looked for that flash of red through the haze of drug -induced stupors.

There she was sitting in the chair beside me as the chemo went into my bloodstream.

There she was coming down the corridor of the ward to see me each day.

There she was doing a jigsaw in the waiting room at oncology whilst I had my treatment.

And sometimes I watched from my hospital window as she walked back to the car to drive away to Sunshine.

Thank you Wilma for shining in the darkness.

And after all that re-visiting of the dark times I just had to go play a round of golf and take in the beauty of Dunedin.

Playing the 14th at St Clair.

 

Looking down to Tunnel Beach from 14th at St Clair.

 

 

Newsflash

Tomorrow I am off to Auckland to help my mother celebrate her 86th birthday!

The Dunedin story will have to be put on hold until my return.

Of course there will be even more stories to tell by then as I am taking my clubs in their little travel case in the hopes of managing to play another couple of rounds.

By all accounts several of the Brothers are keen to take a day off and take me to some of the more scenic and quiet golf clubs around Auckland .

How exciting!

The other news  is that I purchased a couple of second hand clubs today.

I popped into Economy Golf on St. Asaph St just to pick up a couple of new tees as suddenly my supply is low again having snapped several last week.

Well we got talking about Golfer's Elbow and he said was I using Graphite clubs? Cos it would certainly be a good move.

Indeed I have noticed that it is easier for me to use my 3 Iron,which  has a graphite shaft than it is for me to use my blinking 5 Iron with the steel shaft.

What a salesman!

He just happened to have a 3 and a 7 Iron (from the same set) on special today.

I would post a picture of the beauties but they are out in the car and the precipitation is persisting so I  shall leave them there for now.

They are eagerly awaiting the possibility of a small trial tomorrow if the weather permits.

But check out this new tee I purchased:

 

Is this a lipstick? I hear you ask.

No

It is my new Brush Tee!

Ooops, yes I forgot to tell you about that purchase Wilma.




Stay tuned for more adventures on the fairway.....................

 The Highs and the Lows of Dunedin

Hmm!

I have been finding it hard to get up to date with  the  recounting of the Dunedin adventure.
In part this is because it was quite an emotional time for me and I am a little at a loss as to know where to begin my tale.

Obviously there are the golf courses themselves , both the hilly and the flat I could write about.

And certainly if you are only interested in my scores to date I can tell you that in Dunedin,
despite the mizzle and the graupel(yes you may have to get out your dictionary at this point) that in 8 days I managed to play :

7 golf courses

A stirling effort and as my osteopath noted, not surprising that I now have a slight touch of Golfer's Elbow! 

I am now under strict orders to have rest days between games and possibly be prudent enough to only play a couple of times a week until my elbow heals.



I took some LOW roads  to golfing happiness....

..the flattish courses that did not require Leki sticks to clamber up the fairways:

Lower Waitaki

Otakou

Ten and counting- at Twelve Oaks

There was some MIDDLE ground at Waikouaiti with mixed terrain:

 




And of course there were the HIGH roads , the arduous and muddy tracts
of golfing heaven:

Mt Cutten overlooking Port Chalmers

Port Chalmers-perspective is deceiving

St Clair-going up the 12th

Steep Gradient to the flag-Belleknowes 8th

Those of you following this journey  and counting along the courses with me will know  that the overall courses played now number.....

23

 But that is just part of the story......................

















 

The Road Least Travelled 

(and definitely not recommended.)

There were two paths through the forest!

 

 Every picture tells a story.
 So, this looks like a perfectly delightful scene and oh so innocent on a sunny afternoon!
Two roads leading down the hill from the Belleknowes Golf course-one might think perhaps a high road and a low road(and here I am tempted to burst into a wee Scottish song about Loch Lomand.) 


However, looks can be deceiving, especially in the gloaming of a Dunedin twilight.

Leaving Belleknowes

You will recall from the previous entry, that I finished my round of golf just on dark:
























As I headed off down the road from the golf course I happened to see these roads and thought perhaps if I took the left hand one it may lead down to near the top of where the steep footpath commenced, thereby giving me easy access  to where I believed my poor luminous Pinnacle ball rested.


Good idea Ariel!

Driving carefully, as the road seems quite narrow and  darkness is rapidly descending, I edge my car down the left hand path.

Hmm I think" that is quite a drop to my left " but I continue to cautiously advance toward the happy moment of ball retrieval.

The road is becoming narrower and lo! there is a ditch to my right as well as the drop to the left. 

Oh well, once around the next corner I feel sure there will be a small car park in which to turn around after I dash down the hill to grab my ball. 

Around the corner...

 there is another corner and the road seems a little overgrown.

As I negotiate the next corner I gladly note a clearing to the right.

Ah the carpark!

Wrong!

OMG.

And there on my right are those tricky little steps.

I recognize this place and that steep road.

It is the footpath.

Och eye -well I'm here now.

Leaving the headlights on I run off down the path to see if the ball is awaiting my return.

It isn't.

Heading back up toward my car I see just how very narrow this footpath is and just how difficult it is going to be to 

 BACK UP

 negotiating those little corner ,avoiding the steep drop to the left and the ditch to the right.

 Well the challenges of the golf course pale into insignificance  stacked up against the situation I now find myself in.

Carefully,carefully I manage the first few metres and even get around the first corner quite well.

Of course I have to say backing is not the easiest driving challenge for me since all the surgery on my neck - scar tissue makes a full range of movement tricky.

I double bogey it.

I end up in the rough(read ditch)

But fortune smiles on the brave and foolish(sometimes)  

Miraculously, I manage to drive forward and get out of the ditch and  with miniscule surges of power I painstakingly ascend the  hill and am finally back at the real Road.

What a workout. I am pouring with sweat despite the evening chill.

I shall have to admit my foolishness to my friend with whom I am staying as it will make her feel so much better about the previous ditch I was in on this golfing odyssey.

A ditch that she, my caddy, put us in as we headed off on an early morning mission to play

Waitoa Park. 

Now that is Rough!

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

Mystery Object #2

 

Indeed! It is a souvenir from the Dunedin trip.

A beautiful new blue golf towel to contrast nicely with my Blue Shark bag.

The writing on it reads"Scotland .The Home of Golf"

Well there I was in Dunedin-the Edinburgh of the South!
And incidentally, Otago was the first province in New Zealand in which the Royal and Ancient game was played.
So on a cold wet day when no golf could be played I took myself off to the Scottish Shop on George Street to try and find a lovely pair of Tartan socks in the family tartan (either Sinclair for my paternal side or Rose for my maternal side) or perhaps a new scarf.
  Alas such socks do not exist much to my surprise and the scarfs were a tad pricey for my golfing budget. Perhaps a Tam'o'shanter then? But none to be had in the correct tartans.

Then I saw these golf towels-a fitting and affordable souvenir and a much needed replacement for my lovely St Andrews one which had become a casualty of the arduous terrain of the Belleknowes Golf Club.


Let me explain.....

On the 4th day of June,with the full moon due to rise on Queens Birthday Monday, I took myself off to the 9 hole golf course situated in the Green Belt of Dunedin city.
Belleknowes in fact is the closest course to the original site of the Dunedin Golf Club,the first to be established in New Zealand(1871)
My scrapbook records the  words-"super challenging and like nothing I have played before! A full body workout just getting up and down the course."
My golf book notes that 'a tin hat would be desirable on a busy day' as this is a very short course with many criss-crossing fairways. Luckily it is 4pm on a holiday Monday so it is not super busy and with the shortest day not far away I will need to keep moving to complete the round in the daylight.

For some reason I thought this course would be easy after the arduous Port Chalmers course I had played the day before.

 But this is Dunedin we are talking about.
It is a hilly place! 
No long,wide flat fairways with a few dips and hollows as we experience in Canterbury.
No gentle rising slopes up to the greens.Nope we are talking serious hill climbs here.


So ..........

The most challenging holes for me were the 7th and 8th.


To get to the tee box of the 7th involved dragging my trundler over a road and down a set of awkward steps:

 
Then down a long steep path. 

 

My drive then had to clear a deep gulley but the downward slope certainly helped the ball to carry and I made the green in one miraculous shot.

The Green in One

But if you walk down a big hill you have to walk back up it.

The 8th was gruelling!
The slope gradient so great that at one point as I pushed my trundler up the hill with the handle totally parallel to the ground I trip over my own golf towel,ripping it right off the chain attaching it to my trundler and falling into the mud myself in the process!


And that was the tragic demise of the lovely St. Andrews souvenir golf towel.

Upward to the 8th!

 
When I finally holed out on the 8th I turned to see the full moon rising over Dunedin city.
Perfect!

Mostly I played my Dunedin games in the late afternoons so was often finishing my round just as the magic colours of twilight played on the hills and water.Sometimes I quite forgot the game and just became immersed in the beauties surrounding me and took endless photos trying to capture the magic.
Mark Twain supposedly said that golf ruins a completely good walk but not so for me when I play at my preferred pace! I get to play a round of golf AND see all the birds stars and moon I desire.
However,occasionally this distractedness leads to unforeseen consequences!

Take this innocent attempt at an Arty shot:

Luminous ball and Moon

I was so busy trying to line up the moon and the luminous ball for this shot that I had to play the 9th in much faded light.Not only that but having dragged the trundler back up the steep path and the steps and across the road I discovered that I had forgotten to put the ball back in my pocket and my luminous Pinnacle is now lost somewhere between the 8th and 9th.

Bugger!

And just how all this led to me taking a precarious road least travelled will have to wait until the next installment!